Thursday, November 17, 2016

Stand out!

If God lead you to color outside the lines,
No matter how painful it may seem,
Don't try to fit in!
Those are not your boundaries!


You are not meant to blend in!
You are too fabulous to blend in!
The lines that society has drawn
Are not your lines.
Your lines lie elsewhere.


You are not meant to fit in.
You are not meant to blend in.


You are meant to go against the grain.
You are meant to swim against the tide. 
You are meant to march to the beat of your own drummer.
You are MEANT to be different.


Start your own band!
Write your own song!
Dance to your own rhythm! 
Croon to your own tune!
Revel in your difference!
In other words,
STAND OUT!

Monday, November 14, 2016

This Feeling (My reaction to seeing "The Birth of a Nation" on October 7, 2016)

I wish I could
Convey to you
The profundity
Of this feeling
I'm feeling.


I'd like your help
To define this new emotion
I'm experiencing.

I just saw "The Birth of a Nation,"
and yes,
my initial responses
were profound sadness
and rage.  

But,
like perfume,
the initial reaction
has now passed,
and the deeper, more lasting effect
remains.

I feel a form of contempt
and familiarity,
a renewed sense of self worth
and purpose,
an underlying pity and shame,
and yet a powerful hopefulness
riding on faith.

This movie
and it's accompanying effects and emotions,
is not for everyone,
for few will know
how to handle
the rush and multitude of the reactions
responsibly
I am unsure of where I fall.  

It comes at a time
when we
cannot cry "#blacklivesmatter" loudly enough,
yet we still receive resistance
and apathy,
pathetically enough,
sometimes from our own.

But what this movie
has helped me to recognize is
that with every battle,
there will always be
Benedict Arnold's and Judases,
willing and unwilling.  
I can no longer blame them.  
They,
like the countless Patty Hearsts among us,
have been brainwashed so completely
that they actually believe the filth
that their captors are spewing.  
I will leave them to their own paths,
and pray I am elsewhere
when they
experience their inevitable,
unenviable end.

But still,
I am left feeling this feeling
that am at a loss to define.
I want to do something,
but am at a loss as to what.
I have so much to do,
but am at a loss as to where to start.
I have so much to say,
but am at a loss as to how to convey the depth of it all.

I wish I could define this feeling...

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Just stop

(penned June 14, 2016)

In the news I see
Churches becoming
Charnel houses
In the news I see
Rape charges becoming
Rampant injustices
In the news I see
Nightclubs becoming
Nazi death camps
In the news I see
Movie theaters becoming
Mass grave sites
In the news I see
Schoolyards becoming
Shooting galleries

STOP!

The hatred has to
STOP
The venom has to
STOP
The anguish has to
STOP
The vengeance has to
STOP

We want it to end
We feel the need
To hit someone
To hurt someone
But we have to be the ones
To STOP

We want vengeance
We want justice
We want retribution
But we have to
STOP

We have to take a minute
Unlike them
We have to pause
Unlike them
We have to bow
Unlike them
We have to
STOP

And remember
That God keeps better records
Than us
He says vengeance is His
He will repay

So if we
STOP
And let Him take over
Then we can
STOP
The hate
STOP
The violence
STOP
The anguish
STOP
The injustices

Just
STOP
please...

My Black Heart

My Black heart isn't broken
It's been stepped on
It's been stomped on
It's bled
It's been abused
It's stuttered
It's even stopped.
Sometimes it felt like
It had even been shattered.
But it's a strong heart
Because it still beats.
Trayvon, Emmitt, Sandra, Alton
My heart will beat for yours
Now stilled
I still hear your heartbeat
And mine
Will continue the rhythm
My heart isn't broken
It's been shattered
But it still beats
And will continue to beat
To the tune of justice
My heart isn't broken
It still works

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Us or Them?

penned July 8, 2016 after the officers in Texas were gunned down

shots fired
is it us?
is it them?
blood spilled
is it ours?
is it theirs?
someone's dead
is it us?
is it them?
fatherless child
is it ours?
is it theirs?
outrage, retaliate
against us
against them
cycle of hate
against us
against them
someone stop
for us
for them
break the cycle
for us
for them
how?
with us
with them
EQUITY
with them
by us

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Menopausal emotions

Sometimes I just wanna cry
And I don't even understand why
My emotions say to grab a hold
But I'm no longer in control
My heart, then my eyes start to leak
And I get so full that I can't speak
Something deep in me wells up and I...
Well, I can't explain, so I just start to cry


I can't explain, won't even try
This need sometimes that makes me cry
My heart just fills and tries to burst
Telling my mind it has a thirst
For a comfort that's not even there
Because all around are unaware
That this need in me to just release
Is at times the only way toward peace


I scream, I wail, I stomp, I shout
I bawl, I keen, I whine, I pout
I throw myself onto a bed
And pull the covers to my head
Throwing a tantrum is so exhausting
With no regard for the energies costing
Emotionally drained, I'm all wrung out
Okay for now, 'til the next bout.

Stood up


guess you got a better offer
you never showed

you didn't call
I'm left here hanging
wondering
was it something I said
was it something I did
was it something you saw
was it something you heard
was I not what you expected
were you overcome by disappointment

why am I upset
why am I hurt
when you were the one
who missed out
you forfeited greatness
for mediocre
you went for immediate
instead of long-term

you chose...
now live with
what could have been

Transparent


I'm just trying to get along
In a world that doesn't like
The darkness of my skin
The kink of my hair
The width of my hips
The thickness of my lips.


I'm just trying to make my way through oppression
Depression
Suppression
Regression.

While trying to deliver a word to
Stiff necks
Itchy ears
Hardened hearts
Lukewarm spirits.

I'm trying to win a battle against them, they, that, those, these and this...

I can't go with the flow,
Fit into the box
Blend into the pattern
Not rock the boat

I must stand out,
Stand up,
Stand against
Stand with
Stand for.

But I'm tired, exhausted, worn out, worn down, wrung dry.

I need to be revived, rebuilt, rejuvenated, re-energized.

But it can't be by retooling, recycling, repurposing, revamping

That won't get the job, task, assignment, chore, errand done.

I need The One
The Maker,
The Alpha,
The Omega,
The Beginning,
The End,
The Writer AND The Story

To do what only He can do:
Feed me,
Comfort me,
Heal me,
Restore me,
Fix me
Love me

And put me back on the path, the road, the street, the walkway

To victory, triumph, success, dominion.

Child of the Sun

I am a child of the sun

 seasoned with cinnamon
basted with honey
rubbed with cocoa
 baked over cherry
presented by mahogany

I am a child of the Sun
melted by coal
set in copper
deepened in brass
burnished in bronze
sealed in gold

I am a child of the Sun
conceived in Senegal
birthed in Jamaica
raised in Malaysia
murdered in America
buried in Mumbai

I am a child of the Sun
hips swaying
muscles rippling
smiles flashing
nostrils flaring
skin glistening

I am a child of the Sun
I am passion
I am rhythm
I am strength
I am endurance
I am resilience

I am a child of the Sun
I was stolen, but I've been found
I was abused, but I learned not to
I was persecuted, but I survived
I was left for dead...
but
I'm
still
here

This moment

Make a declaration
About your situation
That it's going to get better

No use in stressing
What's supposed to be a blessing
That you're walking into

It may not seem simple
But it's really just a wrinkle
In the fabric of your life

But when you really take a look
It's really not the book
Its only a page on this walk

Making an effort to declare
About my why's, how's and where's
It's supposed to be

See, my life was such a mess,
Because I settled for what was less
Than what was really mine

And I was to set the example
Of how I'm to treat this temple
But fell woefully short

But then I really took a look
At what i thought was the whole book...
But then I turned the page

and kept walking

A friend indeed...


I'm your friend
I see you
Squatting in that low place
Hold on
I'm coming down there
To be with you
To hold your hand
To wipe your tears
To pull you up
I'm not letting you stay
In that low place
You might make it your home
And I don't want
To visit you there
You deserve sunshine
To warm your face
You deserve rain
To refresh your dry places
You deserve hugs
To warm your heart
You deserve love
To nourish your soul
Hold on
I'm coming down there
To sit with you
For a while
To remind you
Its okay to be sad
For a while
But I can't let you stay long
I came to pull you up
To remind you
That life is full of surprises
And smiles
And hugs
And tickles
And giggles
And wonderful memories
Remember when...
Oh, you can't
You're too sad
That's why I'm here
I came down here
To sit with you
To be with
To remind you
That I'm your friend

Swim

Dive into my eyes
Swim around in the emoceans
Tell me you love me
Without saying a word
Say it with your whole being
Leave me doubtless

My contribution to #blacklivesmatter

America's streets
Have become
A canvas on which
Injustice paints
Its twisted artwork
Of society's imbalance
Not in oils
Or by brushes
But in blood
By bullets and batons
Dripping
Onto the jackboots
Of rabid media
With words and cameras
Already planning
Their next masterpiece
Another day
While canvasses still wet
With crimson and scarlet
 From arterial spurt
From a fresh supplier
Not enough
Need more
To add depth
And boost ratings
Evil is never satisfied
It craves misery
It needs a mothers wail
As she inhales
The fresh paint
So like sacrificial incense
From oppression's altar
Praying her remaining child
Will walk the street
Instead of painting it

Live with purpose (For Cameron)

If you only knew the potential in you
The dream  you're meant to be
You'd shake off that cloak of acceptance
And pursue what your heart sees

Because...

If you only dreamed...
The roads you'd travel
The steps you would take
The stars you would capture

If you only plumbed
The depths of your destiny
The extremes of your universe
The infinity of your galaxy

If life is such a battle
But you have the right armor
Then why accept defeat
Why anything but victory

You see beyond the clouds
You soar beyond the stars
You walk amongst the giants
You live beyond the can'ts

Then why why WHY
Would you still scratch amongst the chickens
Crawl along with the vipers
Snatch down with the crabs

You're meant for far more
So soar amongst the eagles
Sail atop the waves
Imagine beyond the boundaries

You're meant to walk farther
You're meant to run faster
You're meant to jump higher
You're meant to sing louder

So...

Awaken the sleeping purpose
Dust off the tabled dream
Break out of the box of limits
And live to the extreme

my heart's reply

at
his
presence
alone
I
caught
my
breath
and
became
speechless

then
his
lips
parted
and
broke
open
my
soul

for
my
heart
freed
from
its
chains
leapt
at
his
words

his
spirit
knew
mine
before
our
eyes
met
and
whispered
"Ruth"

but
I
still
afraid
shrank
back
and
turned

but
he
pursued
relentless
whispering
"Ruth"

I
never
slowed
but
cried
inside
afraid
to
surrender

but
he
pursued
relentless
whispering
"Ruth"

yet
still
I
ran
until
my
breath
refused

he
caught
me
and
breathed
for
me

and
my
heart
replied
"Boaz"